Or my experience against your fantasy!

You need to learn how to read, before you jump in the water.

I like to learn you how to swim, in case you drown, you never know, it's easy! You learn in one paragraph! First, you take a deep breath, then you jump in the water straight ahead, you use your arms and legs no matter what. Try every motion you like until the air in your lungs eventually pulls you back to the surface. And now, at the same time, that you start to think about pushing your head out of the water, breathe out! The air needs to leave your lungs, and simultaneously you push with both arms, so that once you are on top of the water, you have time to fill your lungs with a new fresh breath, otherwise you either run out of power, or you swallow water because you are too late for the inhale. So very crucial in this procedure is your timing, another common mistake is that you don't need to push your entire body out of the water, it's enough to just raise your head above the surface, breathe in that's good enough. So when you push or pull or do anything, with your arms, you let go of the air in your lungs, then you improvise on something, and once your head is over the water, you breathe. You'll soon find the rhythm to get you going, the only difficulty is the start, you can alternatively lay on your back, there's no rules, important is to breath out before you breathe in, or you explode eventually, laying on your back works too, it may even be enough, if you pedal slightly with your feet, or you move your legs like if you want to receive me between your legs, if you have troubles in finding a rhythm, you may try screaming for help. problem with that is, it is more difficult, to scream and swim, than to just swim and swim, with no screaming, but once you have enough air to scream, you should be fine anyway, and if you can somehow manage, help yourself, focus on your rhythm, and scream when me make love if you like, but focus on your rhythm when we're swimming!