Luminita schrieb:I am actually in a similar situation as you are. Someone just found me on Twitter and is texting me now, he is also very lonely and depressed. When we talk, it‘s basically the same conversation over and over again. I might be meeting him next week. I am going to keep talking to him, but I am trying to maintain a healthy distance. So, not really friends, just someone I know.
I guess it‘s more difficult if it‘s a colleague of yours, because you see her every day. I am kinda feeling for her, because loneliness is super terrible. But I can understand that you don’t really wanna let her into your life. I’d say, do whats best for yourself. You can try, but if you are certain that this woman is gonna make you feel worse, I would try to maintain a professional distance. Give her the feeling that you respect her, but not much more. That’s what I would do.
That sounds even worse, as it is a man. He can have "worse" fantasies than just becoming your friend...
Yes, I have to become shorter in my tone and more professional. I suppose she chose me, just because I am the only one at work who have taken time at all to listen to all her complaints... She feels mistreated at work, and that nobody appreciates her, but the thing is that she reads a lot of research and writes reports (during work hours) about things that have very little to do with us. Reports that are never going to be useful for anything. She finds problems where there aren't any etc.. And instead she does not pull her weight in the actual work that we have to do... So people get irritated with her.
heute um 12:04
Maybe you could tell her that you prefer a seperation of your occupational life and your private life. So she won't take it pesonal.
Becoming somebody's friend because of a sentiment of pity will only lead to dissappointments.
Possibly you can help her in another way, eg encouraging her to take part in some courses at the local 'Volkshochschule'.
Yes, if I will have to tell her off straight to her face, I am going to tell her just that: that I prefer to separate my working life from my private life. Good idea! (I am
personal friends with two or three colleagues though, and I think she knows that...)
I have tried to steer her into knitting groups, book circles and also the Church, which is often very welcoming also to people who maybe are not so welcome anywhere else. We will see..! The problem is that I take things too much to heart, and feel responsible also when I know
that I do not have any responsibility (except what we all have for each other on this earth).