Smalltalk

@ArchibaldMax

I don't really like summer because of the high temperatures.

Whenever I could I spent my time in a local lake - yes, in the lake - usually till my fingers turn blue. :)

*dusts the table and prepares a new batch of coffee*

Anyone still game for / interested in / up for some smalltalk in English? ;)

@MUArchivist
I'm still interested in some smalltalk in English, although I'm not here every day.

@Wanda1981 - Hi :)
No worries, I just wanted to push the "smalltalk" or "Kaffee-Ecke" (as I used to know it from a different forum) back to the first few pages, to make it more accessible / present.

I think it's a neat idea to just chat in English, train your language skills or just hang out for a few minutes every week or so :)

Plus: this heatwave probably isn't helping - anyone who doesn't HAVE to be in front of a computer display probably stays the hell away :D

34 C and even higher temps tomorrow ... yuck.

I would also like to see this thread stay alive.

When its hot like in the last weeks, i spend most of my free time at the lake in my home village, its the only place i can take those temperatures.

MUArchivist schrieb am 05.08.2018:Anyone still game for / interested in / up for some smalltalk in English? ;)

I am! But what should we talk about..?

Maybe someone wants to discuss one of the bad things that are going through my head just now..? OK: do you have to become friends with somebody who wants to become friends with you? The thing is that I have a terribly bad conscience because I rejected a colleague who obviously wanted to become a personal friend of mine. This spring and early summer she suggested several things: that we should see each other at a coffee shop in the weekend, that we should go to a photo exhibition at a museum, and even that we should go to a music festival abroad together (which would have involved sharing a hotel room as well).

I found excuses, said that I was very busy, that it was something I was going to do together with my kids etc. etc.. But I saw that she became disappointed and sad. And then she disappeared from work on a long sick leave. I think she has psychological problems. The worst thing is that I suspect that she is very lonely. She has no family, and she is most likely to old to have one now, her parents are dead and she has no siblings. She talks a lot about her cousins but I get the impression that they are not as interested in her as she is in them, and that she is clinging to them desperately.

I feel sorry for her - but do you have to become somebody's friend because you feel sorry for them? The thing is also that I simply do not like this woman. She is pessimistic, complains a lot, it is something wrong with everything and everybody, she has a perpetual whine in her voice... She makes ME depressed, too! And I want to be with people who make me feel better, not worse! I was also afraid that if I let this woman into my private life, she would never let go. I have had such "friends" before - lonely people who have not had any other but me, and who have even been jealous of my family and my other friends. I do not want to go through it again!

@Merwinna
I am actually in a similar situation as you are. Someone just found me on Twitter and is texting me now, he is also very lonely and depressed. When we talk, it‘s basically the same conversation over and over again. I might be meeting him next week. I am going to keep talking to him, but I am trying to maintain a healthy distance. So, not really friends, just someone I know.
I guess it‘s more difficult if it‘s a colleague of yours, because you see her every day. I am kinda feeling for her, because loneliness is super terrible. But I can understand that you don’t really wanna let her into your life. I’d say, do whats best for yourself. You can try, but if you are certain that this woman is gonna make you feel worse, I would try to maintain a professional distance. Give her the feeling that you respect her, but not much more. That’s what I would do.

@Merwinna

Maybe you could tell her that you prefer a seperation of your occupational life and your private life. So she won't take it pesonal.

Becoming somebody's friend because of a sentiment of pity will only lead to dissappointments.

Possibly you can help her in another way, eg encouraging her to take part in some courses at the local 'Volkshochschule'.

Luminita schrieb:I am actually in a similar situation as you are. Someone just found me on Twitter and is texting me now, he is also very lonely and depressed. When we talk, it‘s basically the same conversation over and over again. I might be meeting him next week. I am going to keep talking to him, but I am trying to maintain a healthy distance. So, not really friends, just someone I know.
I guess it‘s more difficult if it‘s a colleague of yours, because you see her every day. I am kinda feeling for her, because loneliness is super terrible. But I can understand that you don’t really wanna let her into your life. I’d say, do whats best for yourself. You can try, but if you are certain that this woman is gonna make you feel worse, I would try to maintain a professional distance. Give her the feeling that you respect her, but not much more. That’s what I would do.

That sounds even worse, as it is a man. He can have "worse" fantasies than just becoming your friend...

Yes, I have to become shorter in my tone and more professional. I suppose she chose me, just because I am the only one at work who have taken time at all to listen to all her complaints... She feels mistreated at work, and that nobody appreciates her, but the thing is that she reads a lot of research and writes reports (during work hours) about things that have very little to do with us. Reports that are never going to be useful for anything. She finds problems where there aren't any etc.. And instead she does not pull her weight in the actual work that we have to do... So people get irritated with her.

Wanda1981 schrieb:Smalltalk
heute um 12:04
@Merwinna

Maybe you could tell her that you prefer a seperation of your occupational life and your private life. So she won't take it pesonal.

Becoming somebody's friend because of a sentiment of pity will only lead to dissappointments.

Possibly you can help her in another way, eg encouraging her to take part in some courses at the local 'Volkshochschule'.

Yes, if I will have to tell her off straight to her face, I am going to tell her just that: that I prefer to separate my working life from my private life. Good idea! (I am personal friends with two or three colleagues though, and I think she knows that...)

I have tried to steer her into knitting groups, book circles and also the Church, which is often very welcoming also to people who maybe are not so welcome anywhere else. We will see..! The problem is that I take things too much to heart, and feel responsible also when I know that I do not have any responsibility (except what we all have for each other on this earth).

Merwinna schrieb:That sounds even worse, as it is a man. He can have "worse" fantasies than just becoming your friend...

I actually don't feel like he would be doing that, especially because I suppose we live far away from each other. And, even if he has those fantasies, I can cope with that. I am in a relationship, so he can forget that immediately. ^^
I wish you all the best, I understand that she is a difficult person, but I truly believe you will be able to cope with her and treat her in the right way. Keep us updated! ;)

Luminita schrieb:Keep us updated! ;)

I will! :-)

ich suche eine entsprechende Redewendung für "dieser Kelch ging an mir vorüber"
?

Dodged that bullet...

Cantaloupe schrieb:Dodged that bullet.

thanks

I think there is a better fitting idiom, but i cant remember it.

do people find that writing in forums actually helps their english?

also what are peoples favourite english speaking accent to listen too and what do people find the easiest and hardest to understand?

Dreisteine schrieb:do people find that writing in forums actually helps their english?

No. It‘s not just writing, you need a combination of speaking, hearing and writing. That is what will help your skills with any language.

Dreisteine schrieb:also what are peoples favourite english speaking accent to listen too and what do people find the easiest and hardest to understand?

I love Scottish, but understanding it is hard xD I like the british accents though, because I sound like someone from the US most of the time and I am just not capable not doing it. :D